Christmas

This christmas I had to celebrate it four times. It gets super exhausting after a while. I used to dream that christmas would last several days, but now it's my dream that it will only last for one again. Isn't it funny how things change?

Day One (christmas eve): My Dads House

My dads house was pretty fun. We ate the traditional "Green Fetichini and Marinara Sauce" that we have every christmas eve. Talked, Laughed, and enjoyed being around eachother. It was funny. My dad and I both got eachother the same thing: a letter saying that we were making eachother something and it wasn't done yet! HA! He is making me a clock! I'm painting him a picture. Cute! We are so funny! We had a pretty good laugh.

My brother got me deodorizers. What a little brother.... HA!

Later that evening we went to Josh's parents to celebrate christmas with the immediate family. It was fun, because this year they included me in it! I was pretty happy. Josh and I have been together for 4 years, and this is our 5th christmas together, so I think it's kinda natural that I am there. We each got a cute little stocking with candies, and a bunch of random things (HoHo's, Sanitizing wipes, USB drives, Fans,), along with awesome Hats (Pictured to the right). Jenny, Josh, and I all got matching hats! We love them!

They also got us "family tickets" for all five of us to go see "Arlo Guthrie and Family" in May. I'm not the biggest of fans. But it's good ol' fashion folk music, and it will be a good ol' fashion time with the family, so it should be fun!

Day Two (Christmas Day):

Josh woke up, and I had laid out an entire christmas morning for him! I filled his stocking, got hot coco ready and put a breakfast casserole in the oven!

We had our very own little christmas morning. Just the two of us. It was absolutely wonderful. I have to admit, small quiet christmas' are the best!

After opening gifts we met up with Ivy (who had to work) and went to Josh's aunts house for supper. And I guess what happened there is best described in pictures:

The Girls

Us! We were stuffed!

The Kids Table Rules! I hope I never get too old to sit at the kids table!

Stuffed!

Stuffed!

Worst Christmas Present EVER!

And this is when things started to get really weird:

This is Colin. He got a new computer for christmas. I kept saying, "Oh, is that your new computer?" OVER AND OVER AND OVER again. He got so annoyed at me. This is his, "AMBER SHUT UP" face. I laughed for like 10 mins after I took this picture. So he was even more annoyed. I'm the best cousin ever I think.

DAY THREE: My Moms House--

Yesterday we went to my moms house for christmas. My grandparents were up, and we got to hang out with them all day. It was really nice because I haven't got to see my grandparents in a while. And since I was around my biological family it felt a little more "christmassy"....until we opened gifts.

I know christmas is not about gifts. If no one had received gifts I would have been happy to just be around my family and the ones I loved. I wouldn't have cared at all. But we did receive gifts. I am completely grateful to receive a gift, and I don't want below to sound like I am a completely greedy person, but it's just what is in my mind.

A little back story: My grandma writes a "family letter" every year in her christmas cards, to tell everyone where they are in life, and where all her kids and grandkids are. Most years she has gotten things completely wrong about me, but this year it is so wrong it was almost upsetting. She refferd to Josh as my "Fiance". I was a little annoyed. Because I am not engaged, and now my whole family thinks I am. It's supposed to be special, and by saying that it is taking a little bit of it away.

Anyways, for christmas, it got worse. This year I didn't receive any of my own gifts from my grandma, they were all joint for me and Josh. All of them. My Sister received a $100 visa gift card, My brother received a $100 visa gift card, My mom received a $500 visa gift card, and I get to split my $100 visa gift card with Josh, so I only got $50. Now don't get me wrong $50 is a wonderful gift, and if Josh and I were engaged and sharing everything it would be no big deal. But the fact is, Josh and I are NOT engaged, and it's just ME! I don't mean to sound like a baby,but: I'm not engaged, so the world is still about ME ME ME, MINE MINE MINE!!! HA!

The clincher is that the other gift we got was an "Engagement Keepsake Box" (Pictured to the right). It is a beautiful box, and again, if I were engaged, I would have no problem with it. But I'm not. So basically it is just a big slap in the face. While I was opening it I was trying to hold back tears, not for happiness, but because I was so upset. She knows we aren't engaged, but she says that we are "practically engaged" so she thought it would be okay. Well, I don't know what "practically engaged" means to her, but personally, I don't think it means, "We are waiting several YEARS to finish college before doing anything like that". Josh isn't anywhere CLOSE to proposing, and so this gift is more just a slap in the face then something cute. I know that isn't what she meant to do at all, but, it's just how I feel.

I think the reason I am so upset is because there is a little part of me that sees everyone else either married, or engaged, and there is that little part of me that wants that too. So it's just rubbing it in my face that that isn't going to happen for a while.

So, basically. That is my christmas in a nutshell. There were ups and downs, and it was different then ever before. Christmas isn't the same like when you were younger, sometimes it sucks growing up, but if you are able to keep hold of your youth, you will always have fun moments.

Where did Christmas Sprit go?

I remember when I was young I would get this huge "christmas feeling" in my body. I would be so happy the whole season, and so excited. It was this deep feeling of christmas that came from way deep within. But, I don't get that feeling anymore. I still get excited for christmas, but the feeling is different. The feeling isn't warm anymore. It's dull.

I don't feel the anticipation for christmas. I'm excited for it to come and go. I love doing "christmassy" stuff: decorate the tree, christmas shopping, baking, decorating, etc. But, I don't get the excited feeling that "christmas is just 2 days away...etc.". It's just another day.

I always thought it was strange how adults weren't as excited as children. But now that I am there, I understand. Christmas is exciting, and a great time of the year, but it is just another day.

My mom told me that when I have kids of my own I will feel the anticipation again, as I see it in their eyes. But, until then, I just get this.

Christmas is two days away, and it hardly feels like the season has begun.

Growing Up: In Style

A small confession. My 21st birthday was not the first time I got drunk. I know, shocker right? I've never been much of a drinker, but I have gone to several parties. They were always all right, and the first couple times were really fun. But, the drunk stories can only last so long before they are boring. "So and So was a freaking idiot" stories can only go so far before it's the same old same old. And drinking really isn't the greatest form of entertainment.

This past year that I have actually been 21 and have been old enough to "experiment" with drinking has simply been a bore. I've got drunk...um...three or four times. And each time was more fun before and after I drank. I've regretting drinking everytime. And something always goes wrong: an argument, an emotional cry, a drama. Something that wouldn't have happened if everyone was sober goes on, and makes it slightly less fun.

This last time I drank, I vomited. I'm not going to glamorize this at all. I drank a total of 4 drinks (which is nothing!), and vomited for a total of 10 mins outside, and have been vomiting for a total of 2 days after. I have a feeling it is a slight bug that is going around, but it was escalated by my own stupid behavior. If I had not have drank, I would not have been in this much agony 2 days later. As I learched my body over the porch banister vomiting all my bodily fluids for a period of ten minuets; held my knees to my stomach the whole night, only to wake up by me vomiting beside my bed, I came to a small realization. Is it really worth it? Is it really worth all the agony and self loathing in order for an hour or two of the thrill? Is it really worth starting down the path of the other alcoholics of my family?

Not when I have more fun and am a lot healthier without it. It was funny, but this weekend I hosted a party for my best friend. It was her 21st birthday party, and boy did I have a blast. BUT, I had more fun before I actually drank then when I was drunk. The whole party was such a fun idea. It was a masquerade! And yes, we did it in style:

GLAMOUROUS!

Lady Gaga-esque!

The Sexy Birthday Girl!

Yea, I though I was absolutely hilarious. For those of you who know how to play "kings cup", I'm holding up a "six for dicks" card. Yea...funny?? HA!

"JENNEY!"

The Cute Couple!

Yes, we know how to through a party!

What a spread for a 21st birthday eh???

Josh's Mask was absolutely terrifying, but not as terrifying as what the innuendo of this picture represents.

All those pictures were BEFORE anyone drank.

Now, I am obviously not guaranteeing that I am never going to drink again--I do enjoy a nice glass of wine here and there. But I think the start of one 21 run is the end of another. The beginning of my best friends 21st year, is the end of mine. It's time to pass the torch. I love going out. I love dressing up. But I don't think my body enjoys me drinking. I'm growing up in style. Passing the torch, and becoming the official designated driver. Every group needs one right???

Happy Birthday Kayla, I honestly had a lot of fun!

Deck the Halls with Bows of Holly....

Fa La La La La, La La La La! I've been super busy decorating for christmas, and getting ready. Getting everyones presents in order, and getting plans ready. I'm so proud of how cute my house is, it's not as decorated as normal, but it is still pretty festive! Here are some pictures:

I have a little village above my t.v! It's so cute. I've always wanted a little christmas village, and I finally have one. The picture above are my little figurines of "Amber and Josh"...that's what I call them at least!

The church is my favorite part of the village. The window lights up so beautifully!

The Church

I've always been in love with HUGE christmas trees! So, I made Josh get one of the biggest ones in the field. We went to Manthys and cut it down ourselves! Next year we will need to remember to have a truck....HA! It defiantly looked like "National Lampoons Christmas Vacation"

Josh added a mask to our tree, I like the way it looks actually!

Although, I will have to admit the mask looks pretty creepy at some points. Other then that, the tree is beautiful!

The Dinning Room

Izzy was so confused! She thought I was taking a picture of her, obviously! HA!

I just love christmas! These are just two rooms of my house. My whole house is decorated. But I love how the living room/dinning room turned out! So festive!

Can't wait for christmas!

Selfish

I don't know if this is how the world normally is, or I have just noticed it a lot more lately because it's the holiday season. The holiday season is the time for giving, and thinking of others. Lately, all I have felt is the ideas of selfish/self-centered people.

Why is it that no one can think of anyone besides themselves? Why is everyone so self centered? It's a rarity to find someone that will actually ask, "How are you?" rather then, "Gosh, my day was shitty". Someone who actually wants to hear about your day, rather then someone who only wants to tell you about theirs. No one really cares enough to ask anyone if they are "okay", they just want a conversation starter to talk about themselves.

I'm sick of all this. I spend my whole life caring. I'm always, "the mom", wanting to make sure everyone is okay, and everyone is having a good time. I wish more people just had that naturally.

Update: Izzy

Isabella George Honrud-Craig's test results came back negative, my baby is going to be okay! I'm so happy!

Blue Christmas

My mom always told me that sometimes people just get sad around christmas time. I never understood what she was talking about. I always though she was crazy, and never really took much truth to what she was saying. But as I have gotten older, I have realized this to be true. Christmas just isn't that happy holiday it used to be when you were in gradeschool. There isn't a different craft everyday, and the endless christmas music and movies. There is so much more.

Now, there is the presents, and the family parties, and having to it all in a timely manner without going broke or going crazy. All with a giant smile on your face and love in your heart. It's so stressful.

But, for some reason, all the normal stress hasn't gotten to me. And I still have this saddness in my heart. I sit here with a heavy heart and sadness on my face, and I can't for the life of me figure out why. I just feel like crying, I guess this is my "blue christmas"

I'm still in this mood where I don't want to be around anyone for long, because they just annoy me. I don't want to read facebook status' because I just roll my eyes. I never want to read a text, because it's probably someone texting to be annoying. I'm happy being a hermit, but I'm sad being alone. It's a sad conundrum that has been worrying me lately. All I want to do is be alone, but I feel lonely. It's a bitter circle.

A Simple Routine

Isn't She Sweet???

I took my dog into the vet this morning for a simple routine "spay". They asked me if I wanted to get blood work done before she got spayed. I said "why not". It was an extra $50, so what they hay. I've been going to this vet--or taking my animals there rather--for years, so I trust them a lot.

I am very glad I got the blood work done. After a simple test they found out that my poor baby Isabella George Honrud-Craig might have something wrong with her liver. They said that if they put her under regular anesthetic she might not wake up. So, instead of the simple routine "spay", she got more blood work done, and more tests done to figure out exactly what is wrong.

We get the test results back tomorrow, and they will let us know our options then. I'm so worried for my poor baby Izzy!!! It's all I can think about. I treat her like my baby, and now my baby might be sick. : (

I hope when we get the test results back tomorrow, everything turns out fine! I can't wait to find out.

False Expectations

Why are we censoring reality? Is there such a thing as sheltering the world too much?

Yes, I believe in happy endings. I believe that there are "happily ever afters" but I also believe that "happily ever afters" can only go on so long. Eventually you die. Eventually it all ends. And there is no stopping it. Sorry, I'm blunt, simple and too the point. But, I don't censor, like now-a-days.

The fairy-tails that our great-great-grandmothers grew up with were real. The little mermaid never got her prince, the evil stepsisters carved their feet off, and snow white died. Simply put: they were real fairy-tails. There was none of this "happily ever after" that we think there was.

I understand that sheltering your kids from reality is a great job of a parent, but really, is there too much. Take the most popular series now-a-days "Twilight", is this really a great example that we should be giving our kids *SPOILER ALLERT*. Among all odds, there is a "happily ever after". Everything ends up being absolutly perfect when you are 18 years old, and your first love will be the love of your life forever and eternity. Seriously dudes. That is not how it works. Most of the time highschool love isn't really highschool love, and your marriage at 18 is most likely not going to work. Simple story. Why are we giving kids all these false expectations of how "life really is".*SPOILER OVER*

Isn't this all just setting people up for an even bigger dissapointment? If you are expecting to find the love of your life when you are 18, getting married, and living "happily ever after", wouldn't you be more dissapointed then if you believe that love happens when it happens, and it might not for a long time. Seriously. I hate all these false expectations.

Here is the true story: Life sucks sometimes, you don't always get what you want, and life doesn't work out the way your plan. BUT, there are times that are amazing, there are moments that take your breath away, and life truly is worth living. Shoot for the stars, but if you only make it half way, be happy nestling in the clouds because you will know that was the best you could do, and you tried your hardest.

There are no "Happily Ever Afters", but as long as you live happy, there are "Happily Ever Todays".

"Cleaning"

I'm trying to clean away some old pieces of me. I deleted my old facebook page. I was obsessed. I would stay on for hours at a time just to see what people's status updates where. People that I didn't even care about, or really know that well. A very random mutual acquaintance you met one time at a party is suddenly your friend on facebook, and now, every status update is part of your life. It seems like this is the new way of life. And I am just sick of it.

I'm starting to clean away my old slate. And start to get more into the realness of life. Away from the cyber space of it all. If people are really my friends they don't need to contact me via the internet. They can contact me in person. Simple enough.

I'm done with all this drama on facebook. People trying to make random statements with their status'. Trying to look cool by what they say. Bragging about how drunk they are by posting 10million drunk pictures for the world to see. I'm done with it all. I don't need to see another "photography" album from a random 17 year old who is now suddenly a photographer. I don't want people to back talk me any more via wall posts. I don't "like" status' and you don't "like" mine. Simple enough.

Facebook is just done. I'm sick of it. So I'm cleaning the slate, the best I know how. I can not delete facebook all together, because honestly, it is a great way to find people you have lost contact with, but I can delete how I used to use it. I deleted my old facebook, all it's pictures, all the comments, all the EVERYTHING and started a new one. I'm only going to be accepting friends I want to keep. And will not be tagging anyone in pictures (or myself). No one needs to be on the internet 10million times, and frankly no on cares that much.

I'm done with facebook drama. Done!

I'm cleaning.

Dependancy

There are times when I feel ashamed to tell the people I am close to what my ultimate "career choice" is, and there are other times when I feel completely comfortable. Most of the time I feel ashamed. I think it is mainly because I know that so many people that are close to me look down on it. They can't see the bigger picture, and think I am selling myself short.

I do not view my choice as selling myself short, I view it as doing something that I know I will absolutely love. My ultimate choice is that I want to be a mom. That is it. Nothing else matters to me. I think that is why I am so wishy washy about school, and any job I have until I become I mommy. I know that any career I chose now I am going to give up for the future, and I know that any career I choose to peruse with schooling is something I am going to give up as well. So, it has taken me a while to think of a "what's the point"? Aspect.

Honestly, I am a planner. I need some sort of plan in my life. Right now I can not "plan" to raise a family, so I need another plan in my life until my ultimate plan can start unraveling. My plan as of now is to get my degree in Early Childhood Education (what can I say, I love kids) and one day own my own daycare. I believe that if I own my own at home daycare, that will be something that I can still do once I have kids without giving up being a "stay at home mom". I need to have this small plan, before I can start on the big one.

I see all these people that are young having children, and I am jealous. I wish I could be like that. I wish I could start now. But on the other hand, there are things that I know I should do first, like: be financially stable for one! HA!

It is just a bummer when your ultimate career is one dependent on another person.

Life is Getting Good

I would say that I feel like my life is beginning, but there really isn't an easy way to pin point when your life starts? Is it as you exit the womb? Or when that first sperm hits the egg? When you speak your first word, or start understanding simple sentences? Or way after that. After you have experienced so much life to actually understand it? Or when.

My life is not beginning, but I finally feel like I am on the right step to some place I want to go.

I am finally starting a major that I am actually going to enjoy. I absolutely love taking care of children, and I know I will love majoring in Early Childhood Education. I love school, and I love the idea of going back to school.

I love where my life is headed lately, and I think that a big part if it is me learning to finally enjoy all the life that I have already led. All the good and bad times has made me who I am today, and I think I am a pretty awesome chick. I love me, I love life, and I love living it.

Finally.

An Adult Peter Pan

I feel like it is kind of pointless to write in my blog sometimes, because I know no one ever actually reads it. But writing is a form of expression, and right now, I just need to get it all out. I need to express my emotions, and just write gibberish that no one will read.

It's better then expressing my emotions in a different way, right? Don't want me to end up like Jeffery Dahmer or anything.

I'm sitting here with my bubbly water, just thinking: life sucks sometimes. No matter how great my life is, and how much I know my life is going in the right direction, there are still times when it just sucks. My life has had so many of these moments.

I don't want to play the "poor me" card, but there are just so many stupid little things that have gone on in my life, it just sucks: my youngest brother's death, my next youngest brother's serious brain injury, a kid I babysit for died, a parent of a kid I babysat for died, my parents have gone through a divorce forcing me to "pick sides" and move from house to house, my mom is an alcoholic, as well as dated a guy that made me realize that there really is such a thing as a person that was born to be a bad person. So many stupid little things, that sometimes I just get overwhelmed.

I'm not by any means saying that my life is worse off then yours (because it isn't), and I am not saying that I have led a bad life (because I haven't), I am just saying it all get's way to overwhelming sometimes.

I have gone through more in my life then a lot of kids my own age have, and this has forced me to grow up faster then most. I don't like to do normal "kid things", because I don't feel like a kid. But, I don't like to do adult things either, because I don't feel like an adult. I am lost, somewhere in the middle of being a kid and an adult. I am forever burdened with the fact of being an adult Peter Pan--just somewhere in the middle.

There are people that have had it way worse then me, but I think we all have to wallow in our self pity once in a while. We all have to feel like our problems are the biggest problems in the world--it's the only true way to really come to terms with life.

Motivation

Lately, I have just had no motivation to write, and frankly no one reads this anyways. I've always said that I write more often when I am depressed rather then when I am actually happy, and I guess it is true, because lately I have just lacked motivation, but I have been happier then ever.

Things change when I get happy, I write less, but I do more. I spend less time on the computer, and get more motivation to clean the house and do things that need to get done, but, I think the change that I really need to work on is: my bitchiness. When I am happy, I get even more bitchy to certain people then normal. To anyone that I think might stiffen my happiness....I bitch at. Seriously, It's awful. If you say, "I'm sick", I say, "Who Cares?"...really, I don't know what is wrong with me?

I think it all goes back to the fact that I am happiest when I am alone. And since everyone annoys me, I don't want one person to stiffen my happiness with their stupid, annoying, little problems. Ha! And yes, that is such a little bitchy move, but I guess that is just me.

I'm worried though that I am going to push away what little friends I do have with my blunt, rude, bitchy, attitude. Although, I am happiest alone, I do appreciate my friends.

I guess the real test of friendship, is to see if you can handle me when I am truly happy? Ha, I'm really odd.

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

In these last few weeks I have been transforming my life. Switching my job has been for the better. I am over-all a lot happier, and it shows in all aspects of life. I have officially lost 17lbs! And I keep getting smaller. I am happier, and have more motivation to do stuff, like actually get the house organized. Life has just been great.

To really symbolize the changes I've made in my life, I decided to cut my hair. I love it. So much lighter. 13 inches!!!

Before:

After:

I feel like I lost 10 Lbs.!

I Hate Everyone

Yes, It is true. I basically hate everyone. Don't worry, you don't have to call the suicide hotline or anything, I just wanted to put the blatant fact out there: I Hate Everyone. There are very few people that don't annoy the crap out of me, and even those few tick me off at times.

Lately though, my patience has been dwindling so even my closets of friends are starting to drive me just utterly batty! And no, it is not that "time of the month". At first I thought that myself, but that time has come and gone, and these feelings are still there.

People don't just annoy me the typical amount, they drive me nuts. Full blown through me in a straight jacket nuts. Everyone. And, I have no idea why this bothers me so much. Perhaps it's because I love people to much?

Okay, so now this is a major contradiction I know. But come to think of it, the thing that drives me most nuts about people is the fact that I love people so much that it drives me nuts when they are making STUPID choices. I hate it when people do stupid things that are going to ruin their lives, and I hate it even more when people do stupid things the ruin my life. Or, make my life just a little bit more difficult.

I really don't know why I feel so strongly about how annoying people are, I just do. And it keeps getting worse. My care (or lack there of) is decreasing more and more daily, and soon I can see myself as an old lonely hermit...and frankly...that's probably the best situation for me.

Some people are just born to be hermits.

Dream: Blood Loss

I tend to have very vivid/passionate dreams. I dream in color, I dream in life. Everything always seems real, and sometimes feels more like a premonition rather then a dream. I dreamt that my brother was going to get into an accident before it happened. I dreamt that if my family moved out to Acme, something bad would happen, and it did. My dreams are vivid interpretations of life.

I have been having previous recurring dreams of pregnancy, and birthing. I've deduced these dreams to be in regards that I was in need of a big change, but someone was stopping me (hence the reason someone would always stop be from birthing the child). I am now in the middle of a giant change--switching careers--so these dreams have stopped.


My dream last night was nothing to do with pregnancy, or a big change. It was simple, straight to the point, but I don't remember most of it. The most vivid thing I remember was the blood. For some reason "they" needed a blood sample from me. I trusted "them" and I let them. I knew who "they" were in my dream, but in life, I do not recognize any individual. All I remember was them in white lab coats. I let "them" take the blood sample, but instead of the typical poke-a-needle-in-your-finger thing they usually do, they put an I.V. in me and starting having it flow into a bag (like I was donating blood). A few moments later I told them that I think that was enough--as the bag was overflowing--but "they" just replaced bags and ignored my response. As I was 'donating' blood, they still made me work. My work was searching for a small child. I new what the child looked like in my mind in my dream, but, I can not recognize it in reality. I was searching for the small child through an old grungy building: walls were falling down, there were holes where there used to be windows, but no glass, and cobwebs and darkness was everywhere. I knew this was Ferndale High School in my dream, but it did not look like Ferndale High School in my reality. I was carrying my I.V. through the school as I passed all my old classmates that didn't seem to notice or care, and no one knew where the small baby was. "They" kept replacing the bag as I drained more blood, and I kept getting more and more weak.

I never found the baby, and they never stopped having me drain blood. I never died, and just kept getting weaker. I just walked through my old high school, endlessly, draining blood, and getting weaker and weaker.

This dream was very vivid. I could see the red of the blood. I could see the blood moving through my veins under my skin. I remember being able to feel my heart begin to pump slower. And I could feel myself slowly start to die.

It was a morbid, intense dream, that I do not intend to have again. After all: I should only have to feel myself die once.

I need to figure out what this dream means, so it will not return. I can only guess that losing my blood would be something sucking the life out of me, but I don't know who "they" could be? And why was I searching for a small child? Could my old high school have something to do with everything?

Dreams

What Blogger's call a MEME

Through all the bordem of my last several days, I've been frantically browsing blogs for some sort of random entertainment. My ussual "research" has gone down the wayside, and I have started to get more entertained with the random blogs you can find on the internet. Now, don't worry guys, I will still do my "research" from time to time, and let you know the absolute most random facts in the world that you can find from typing "butt" into google, but for now, blogs are my thing.


One thing I have found is that the random surveys that we youngin's used to do on Xanga, Myspace and now the ever-popular, ever-sick, Facebook, are called "MEME's" on Blogs? I'm confused? What does that stand for, and am I using it in the right context. I'm not sure. I'm still not used to this blog thing.


Is there a blogging 101?


Anyways, I've decided to complete one of these so called "MEME's" to see if they are fun. I want to get into this professional blogging thing.


So here goes:

Four people I hope are eaten by a rabid pack of Velociraptors – a type of dinosaur that should not to be confused with chiropractors unless they also happen to have cannibalistic tendencies:

1. Paula Abdul! She knows what she has done
2. That girl with the HUGE TEETH on dancing with the stars! She absolutly drives me nuts. If there was a teeth shortening service, she should be first in line!
3. People that pronounce things correctly, rather then what is convenionly correct. Example: Pronouncing "Culinary" "COOOlinary"....We all know the correct way to say that word, but no one really cares, and you are definatly not better then us.
4. Anyone that is anerixicly skinny, although, you probably don't have enough meat for the velociraptors to eat anyways....oooo...burn!

Four drinks I love:

1. Anything tastes better when you make it Irish! The Irish really know what's going on.
2. Wine
3. Diet Coke
4. Anything I can blow bubbles into

Four favourite quotes:

1. "What came first, the music or the misery? People worry about kids playing with guns, or watching violent videos, that some sort of culture of violence will take them over. Nobody worries about kids listening to thousands, literally thousands of songs about heartbreak, rejection, pain, misery and loss. Did I listen to pop music because I was miserable? Or was I miserable because I listened to pop music?" John Cusak, High Fidelity. You know, I've never actually seen the movie, but I probably should, it sounds pretty awsome!
2. Anything Dean Winchester says on Supernatural! Gosh, I could watch that show daily, and still laugh my ass off. Dean:You know what, there's a ton of lore on unicorns too. In fact, I hear that they ride on silver moonbeams, and that they shoot rainbows out of their ass!
3. "I'm sorry I farted in your purse"--Baby Mama, although, EVERY LINE from baby mama is absolutly amazing.
4. "Life is what happens when you are making other plans"--John Lennon, he's pretty amazing.

Five things to do before I die:

1. I would absolutly love to travel around the world. I want to visit every continet! Just once at least. Is that too much to ask from someone who wants to be a perfessional day-care teacher? HA
2. Buy a nice house, and have a wonderful garden! I have always wanted a "secret garden"
3. On the way home yesterday I was listening to a Meatloaf song, and wondered, "what wont he do for love?" So, perhaps, one day I would like to find the answer.
4. Never watch The Matrix, because it sucks! (I've only seen parts, and it sucks!)
5. You know, the whole, get married, have kids, and be financially stable and happy blah blah blah...pretty basic.

Five famous women I’d also like to do naughty things to:

1. Scarlet Johanson. She is so smoking!
2. Scarlet Johanson
3. Scarlet Johanson
4. Scarlet Johanson
5. Scarlet Johanson

yea....that's about it.

Okay...those MEME's aren't as fun as they seem. But it definatly kept me entertained for a while!

I Miss Food

I wish I could just eat whatever I wanted, and never gain weight! I miss all the yummy food I used to eat, and am currently trying to come up with healthy alternatives. Last night I really wanted pizza--my usual indulgence--so instead of going to Pizza Hut, I made my own. I took those new orowheat 100 calorie buns, toasted them and added a bit of no-salt added tomato sauce topped it with about a tablespoon of cheese, and 2 pepperonis. I then paired it with a side salad...and Bone Apatite! It was pretty delicious if I don't say so myself! I was pretty proud of myself for coming up with a healthy alternative to one of my favorite meals!

It's so difficult to come up with healthy alternatives, but in a way, I'm having a little fun trying to be creative! I know it will all be worth it in the end!

This book is really helping me:


Not Every thing in it I whole hearting agree with (is that true for any diet book?), but there is a great section about portions. Portions is something I needed a lot of help with. I have several pages papercliped, that way I can just turn to it, and get the exact portion of something I need so I can make my own recipes!





One thing that I knew in the back of my mind (but would never really admit it): sandwiches aren't the greatest thing for you. Sandwiches are my absolutely most favorite, kick me in the groin, most awesome food ever! I could have a sandwich every day, 3 meals a day, for the rest of my life and die with a giant smile on my face. But, that much bread really isn't great, especially when you are insulin resistant like me! The book suggests having open face sandwiches, but really, what is the point of that? So, I have found myself an alternative: the new Orowheat 100 calorie Whole Wheat sandwich Thins! :

They are absolutely amazing as a substitute for most things delicious!: buns for garden burgers, pizza crusts, and SANDWICHES! They are about the same as having one slice of bread, so perfect for the "open faced sandwich" suggestion, without actually having to eat your sandwich with a fork. I am in love with these baby's!

Me Time

I'm so grateful that next week I have several days off. What am I doing with the time off you ask?: absolutely nothing! And that is what I am thankful for. Since I have moved out to the barracks, I haven't had time to just be by myself--something I held so dearly before moving out. I used to sit alone for hours in my room, just drawing, cleaning, and organizing. I would sit for hours just writing and being myself. But, now that I live with 2 other people, I never have time to just sit and be me.

The problem is I actually enjoy living with who I am living with, so I always want to "hang out" with them. I never really am upset that I don't have "me time", but now that I know I'm going to have "me time" I couldn't be happier! I am now realizing how much I miss it.

Me Time is very important I feel. It's time that you take just to express what YOU want, what YOU feel, and no one can judge you except yourself. It's a wonderful time you can have just to think to yourself, and free your mind. I miss this dearly. Every night, after family time, I would go to my room and be by myself until 1 or 2 in the morning, because I just enjoyed hanging by myself too much to go to sleep. It was always my favorite part of the night. And now, I don't have that. I don't have that guaranteed several hours to be by myself, I actually have to schedule it out. I have to write it down on the calender: me time. It's just gotten a little more difficult--not impossible--but difficult.

I'm so excited for "me time". I couldn't be happier!

It's Official

"Amber Craig has elected to resign her position as a Flex Loan Officer/Teller effective Friday, October 9, 2009. Amber will be pursuing her passion for early childhood education." This Email was set to "All Staff" just moments ago.

It's official. I am no longer employed at WECU as of October 9th, 2009.

The feeling is melancholic. I am so used to WECU, it's going to be sad to leave. This is the longest job I have ever had, and for the most part I have enjoyed being here. I love the people, I love a lot of things, but it just isn't me.

Here is to a new beginning!

October is the Month of Change

I am finally able to reveal my exciting news to the "blogging world": I am now a Toddler Teacher at a small daycare in Bellingham! For the last few weeks I have been going through a series of interviews for the position, and this morning I found out the great news. I am going to start Friday October 16th! I couldn't be more happy. And yes, this is the "hopefull really big change" that I was talking about in an earlier blog! I'm glad it is no longer a "hopefull really big change" but rather an actual really big change!

It was very sad to tell my current employer that I am leaving, but my boss was so happy for me! He was so happy, that it made my resignation a little more difficult, but I know it is ultimatly for the best. Banking is not my industry, childcare is.

I am so excited to start heading in the right direction rather then just heading forward! This is one more step towards my goals.

Ocotber is starting out on the right foot.

About Time:

I thought it was about time to post some pictures from my vacation a few weeks ago. It was so much fun. We ended up staying at a cute little camp site in tacoma, and then traveling to Seattle every day for a different little fun event. We got the city pass for Seattle. I highly recomend it! It was defintaly worth the price. $54 to go to the Pacific Science Center, EMP, Science Fiction Museum, A cruise around the beach, The Seattle Aquarium, and the to the top of the Space Needle TWICE! Here are some pictures for you:Seattle is just such a wonderful city. I'm so glad I live here! Every time I go to Seattle I fall more in love with where I live.

Here is a creepy old bathroom we saw on the underground tour. Oh man, it was so interesting, the whole history of seattle! I now know why seattle is my city. A city based on prostitution, and lying....it is obviously my city!

This was my attempt to use my "panaramic" setting on my camera. It didn't turn out quite right, but pretty good for a first attempt. I have a bunch of pictures of the city scape of Seattle on my camera, once I get photoshop I will make a nice one.

The View from the top of the space needle is absolutely breathtaking. We couldn't have gone on a better day! I can't believe I have lived in Washington my whole life and never done this.

Ortega chili burgers are something I highly recommend. They are a great way to spice up any burger, and when you are camping...they are a luxury! I absolutely love them. They are great with a few jallepenos as well! Yum!

These fish were above my head! The seattle aquarium was pretty nifty, but, unless you have the city pass, I really don't recomend it. It is really small. But it has several "petting zoo" rooms for kids. So, not really the "coolest" aquarium for kids over 2. The Vancouver aquarium is awesome! If you want to go to an aquarium...go to that one!

This was our adorable little campsite! I defiantly love camping. Hopefully next year I get to camp more then just the one time. Word of advice: parks close at 7 other places then bellingham. And they really MEAN IT! Usually if you are at a park past dusk around here they don't care...but when you go elsewhere...they really freak out!

We went to the Butterfly exhibit at the Pacific Science Center. It was very beautiful! I loved all the butterflies, and all the landscaping!

This was the adorable Cafe we ate at the first morning! It was very getto, but the food was so cute! There was a cute little couple that owned it, that reminded me of Me and Josh when we were older: she was doing all the work, and he was just sitting there doing nothing...LOL! Goodness....the food was good though....$5 for a full plate of food! YUM!

The vacation wasn't as relaxing as I would have hoped, but we had so much fun! I can't wait for another vacation! Sometimes I wish my life was just a big vacation.