Dependancy

There are times when I feel ashamed to tell the people I am close to what my ultimate "career choice" is, and there are other times when I feel completely comfortable. Most of the time I feel ashamed. I think it is mainly because I know that so many people that are close to me look down on it. They can't see the bigger picture, and think I am selling myself short.

I do not view my choice as selling myself short, I view it as doing something that I know I will absolutely love. My ultimate choice is that I want to be a mom. That is it. Nothing else matters to me. I think that is why I am so wishy washy about school, and any job I have until I become I mommy. I know that any career I chose now I am going to give up for the future, and I know that any career I choose to peruse with schooling is something I am going to give up as well. So, it has taken me a while to think of a "what's the point"? Aspect.

Honestly, I am a planner. I need some sort of plan in my life. Right now I can not "plan" to raise a family, so I need another plan in my life until my ultimate plan can start unraveling. My plan as of now is to get my degree in Early Childhood Education (what can I say, I love kids) and one day own my own daycare. I believe that if I own my own at home daycare, that will be something that I can still do once I have kids without giving up being a "stay at home mom". I need to have this small plan, before I can start on the big one.

I see all these people that are young having children, and I am jealous. I wish I could be like that. I wish I could start now. But on the other hand, there are things that I know I should do first, like: be financially stable for one! HA!

It is just a bummer when your ultimate career is one dependent on another person.