The last several days have had their majior ups, and maijor downs. They have all just blurred: one into eachother. But, now, I think I am finally coming out of the other side of this bipolar train.
I have decided to keep my head high, and keep moving forward. I can't go back and change the past. I can't make what has happend go away. The most I can do is move on and move forward. So I am.
I went apartment hunting today. I need to find my own place. I drove around bellingham, by myself, and just looked. I walked into countless leasing offices and asked if they had any one bedroom apartments available in January. They all asked, "Is it just for you?" At first, I reluctently said, "Uh...yes, yes, just me" At first, it hurt to be saying that it was just me, all alone. But as I walked from office to office, I slowly realized, "wait, yes! It is just ME!" That is it! I am the only person I need to worry about. I only have to worry about what is best for me. And towards the end of my hunt of the day, the answer was, "YEP! JUST ME!" Very confidently, with pride. I actually got a little boost of confidence, thinking I was taking care of myself. I was working for no one in a sense.
Yep, It is just me!
For the first time since everything happend, I felt...okay. Like things might actually be...okay. Weird.
Me
So I definitly mised out on your last few blogs because I already knew what was going on but reading it all made me want to cry and my stomach felt like it does when Eric and I get yet more bad news. But reading this last post makes me so happy to know that you are holding your head up high and doing the best you can with what you have! I cant wait to be up in less than 3 weeks so I can give you the biggest hug ever! I love you and I miss my best friend so much! We are going out window shopping or something like we used to do while I'm up!
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