A Break-Up

A break-up effects more then just you and the one you broke up with. It effects everyone you are around. The longer you are together, the more ties to people you have. The more people you share. And when it ends, you lose those people. Even if you don't completly lose those people, you lose the part of them you had.

I find myself acting awkward around some people now, and not knowing how to be myself anymore. I keep feeling like people are acting different around me. I keep asking myself, "I wonder if they hate me now?" or, "What did he tell them about me?". I am ten times more self-concious then I ever was before. I find myself getting jealous that "my" friends are hanging out with "him". I find myself upset that I can't do whatever I want because I have to check and see if he is coming too. I find myself upset that I have to share.

But, this is just the way it has to be. Because I am not leaving our friends, and I wouldn't want him to leave his. And right now, there is no way we can happily be in the same place at the same time.

So, this is just how it has to be. Until one of us gets new friends. And sometimes I feel like that is the inevitable sollution.