I had an awful dream last night...

My husband and I were asleep in our bed, cozy and dark. A small creek at the front door woke me from my sleep. I nudged my husband slightly, "I think there is someone at the door" I whispered. All I heard was a grumble from beneath the sheets. But, he carefully lifted his head as we both heard creaking on the stairs coming righ towards our room. I knew the kids were down the hall, and wouldn't be walking up the stairs, so my heart began to pound fast.

Before I knew it a man dressed in all black walked into our room. My husband jumped out of bed but was taken aback when he saw the gun in his hand pointed right at me. I jumped back and tears filled my eyes. None of us made a sound, all you could hear was the pounding of our hearts, and the heavy breathes.

"Please, just let me know what you want. Just don't hurt the children" I begged in a hushed whisper.

"Let me watch" he mutterd in a deep tone.

"What do you mean?" I asked

"Fuck the guy," he stated

"What do--" he cut me off mid scentance and impatiently blurted out, "Just fuck eachother now".

My husband reached across to me and grabbed my body and thrust it towards him. He whisperd in my ear, "I'm sorry baby. Let's give him what he wants, and he'll leave". Tears began to leave my eyes as my husband forced himself on me. Grabbing at all angles, he pushed me onto the bed and began to penetrate me. I bit my lip to stop myself from crying. He whisperd, "Honey, I love you" into my ear, and a small sense of comfort warmed me up until I began to hear the dark man from the edge of the room begin to speak:

"that's it, fuck her good. oh ya. that's right. give it to that bitch" he started to get frusterated as my husband began to slow down, "No No No!" the dark man began to yell, "let me show you how a real man does it". He grabbed my husband from the back and pushed him against the wall. In the dim twilight was the first time I could see the pure mass of this man. He was larger then anyone I had ever seen before, almost 7 feet tall had to be well over 300 pounds.

My eyes grew larger as I watched the man attack my husband. I was speachless, all I wanted to do was scream, but I couldn't let out a single noise. The dark man pushed him against the wall, and I could see him fall to the ground. My husband was now unconscious. I saw the dark man turn towards me and I heard him laugh under his breath, a dark laugh that sounded red. It grew louder and more intense as he made his way to the bed. It was like a force hit me, a strong wind took my breath away and I submitted to my surroundings. I didn't struggle. I just lay back and forget everything that is going on around me. I'm like a rag doll, as his mass engolfs my body and rapes me. I feel nothing. Not physically or mentally. I'm just a mass on the bed.

Hours could have passed, and I wouldn't have known the difference. All I could remember was waking up with my husband hovering over me, "Wake up baby, I know you can. Wake up, I love you..." My eyes opened and the first thing I said, "Where are the kids?"

Both of us jumped up and ran downstairs. But the smell hit us before we could realize what was going on. I felt a cold, wetness, dampen my foot as I took my last step. I turned and saw red. Dark, red, blood everywhere. My heart stopped. And I fell to my knees.

Everything went dark.

The rest of the dream was in the view of my husband. I was no longer me.

I met a beautiful woman at the park the other day. Something was familier about her, and something just drew me in. It was like I knew her for years. There was something about her that just made me smile.

From the second I met her I felt like I couldn't let her go. We spent every waking moment with eachother for months. Laughing, joking, going to to park, laying in bed. Life felt perfect, but that's when it all started to come back to me.

The dark black, the red. Our life we had together. The rape. Our kids. Some part of my brain had suppressed it all. I began to remember the months after the accident, my wife had been speechless. Nothing could make her talk. Any life she had had gotten sucked out of her. She didn't smile, she didn't move. The woman I had once loved was gone. She was just a hollow soul.

I had nothing I could do but try a new treatment to erase our memories. But, it would cause us to forget everything about our pasts. I needed something to bring the life of the woman I loved back to her body. The consiquences couldn't outweigh her lifeless body. So, we began treatment. And slowly I could see her smile.

I remember the last day I saw her. She finally started to laugh again. And that's when the doctor told me, "It's your turn". I was confused, I didn't know what he meant? But he explained that with me still in the picture she could never regain the life she had before. I would always envoke a memory, and she could easily relaps. I made the hardest decision of my life, I decided I wanted her happiness above mine. And I began to erase her from my memory.

I never thought about her, she was gone. But seeing her again envoked all those memories of the life we had together.

It seemed like she still didn't remember her past life, so I knew what I had to do. I had to leave. I had to leave her again, before she remembered and became lifeless again.

The day I left her for the second time was the hardest day of my life. She stood on my porch crying, saying she didn't understand. That she would love me forever. I knew I would love her too, but I knew I had to let her go. So I stood there silently. I kissed her on the forehead and wiped her tears away. "Baby, I just want you to be happy"

My wife, my old life, and my love walked away in one quick turn. And I closed the door on my past.