A note about religion:

A friend of mine posted on her blog a tid bit about religion. This was my comment to her, I found myself pretty insightful, so I will post this to you for your thoughts:

I am too, sad for all the people who blindly just accept the faith that was "born to them". It is nice to be raised with faith, but, I don't know if it is necessarily right to raise a child in a religion. Religion, and believing, are very different subjects. I don't feel you give it (religion) a legitimate backing if you are just raised in the one religion, without knowing about all the others. Jesus wasn't raised christian, he was a Jew. Buddha was Hindu. Isn't religion clearer when you aren't blindly following it because you are told...but rather, find it yourself?

Any thoughts?

My pity party

Disclaimer: The following is my big pity party. If you don't want to hear me feel sorry for myself, then don't read further.

Lately I feel like there really aren't a lot of people that like me, or actually enjoy being around me. It never used to bother me; but, it really is starting to hit a nerve.

I have--for some reason--developed this "Super Hard Core Mega Bitch" persona. Everyone just thinks I am going to be a big bitch to them, or very rude. Yes, I do tend to always speak my mind, but I never really have realized how bitchy it could sound. By speaking my mind, I have never found it to be bitchy--because everyone else in my family speaks the same way--but to the outside world, I guess I am a bitch?

I think the thing that bothers me the most, is rather then people bringing it up to my face, they would rather talk behind my back. No one actually will tell me how they feel to their face. If they just got to know me a little better, they would know, that I am a very reasonable person. I am actually a very nice, respectful girl. I do care, and if you just brought it to my attention, I would stop.

I may seem like I don't care, but I honestly do.

I have a great inner circle of friends, don't get me wrong. I have a great inner circle, that really know who I am, and how I am. But the huge outer circle, I always feel will be there...because they want too. It's easier to just assume I am a bitch, and not get to know the real me. It's easier to just talk about me behind my back. But, it's not the mature thing to do.

I feel like I am just growing up faster then everyone else? I can look past how people were in high school, and see the real adult person. But, I guess I will just wait here for everyone else to grow up?

I guess I will just wait here, sober. While everyone can go get drunk with their youth. I'll still be waiting here when you all grow up, and meet me where I am.

I am ready to grow up, and see the real me. I wish everyone else could see the real me too? And, for that matter, I wish I could see the real you.

My future house...

I've decided that this is what my future house is going to look like. I love anything with the "cabin" feel. I love all the sceanery outside too. I need a well maintained yard. I think this is absolutly breathtaking.




This is my future kitchen

Living Room

(Except, lets change what's on the t.v to ANTM or HGTV, eh?)

This could work for my dinning/living room area as well. I do love the open feel!

Goodness, I just love the cabin feel. I hope one day I can master this look. I already know my purple couches are not going to do this look justice, but they are fun for now. I can't wait to have a place of my very own. But I guess, first I have to get a job I love.

Ha, and like owning my own daycare is going to suit my lifestyle...but I guess...you never know!!


Here's to hoping!!


But, one question before I leave...what does your dream home look like?

Cupcake

Doesn't that look absolutly delicioius? I bet it is. I just want one savory bite. Melting chocolate cascading in a river, one bite after another.

I just turned down a cupcake. Oh, it is way more difficult then I could have imagined. But I did it! No more fattie cupcakes for me.

Yes, I am proud of myself

Feels So Good

I actually woke up early this morning and walked on the treadmill for twenty minuets! Then I sat on the floor and did ab work outs and stretches for another twenty minuets. It felt so good. It was hard to pull myself out of bed and actually work out, but now that I have, it feels absolutely amazing. It was a great start to the day.



I have told myself that I will do some sort of activity EVERY DAY, regardless. Whether it be taking the dog for a walk, walking on the treadmill, or going on a hike, I will excersise daily. I haven't given myself an option for failure. I have told myself that this is something I have to do. And it is.



My doctor told me I have to lose weight, or I will get diabetes. So, I guess that was just the wake up call I needed. I need to start exercising and eating right. I need to be at least the weight I was in high school, if not less. It's no longer something I just want, it is something I actually need to stay healthy.



Now that I am actually starting to do some sort of exercise daily, I am actually enjoying it. I feel better. It's great.



I'm going to go buy a scale, and start tracking my success. I've never actually owned a scale, and that might have been my problem. I never actually know where I am as far as my weight.



Eat healthy, and be fit. I will do it. Here's to success!

Breaking Up is Hard to do

Some might say that I have never broken up with someone, other's realize the truth. There is not just a "romantic break-up". Every relationship you hold is bound to be broken up at some point: friends, family, acquaintances, etc. These are are all forms of relationships, just not all romantic.

I wish you could tell someone, "Things just aren't working out with us anymore" and actually break up with these un-romantic relationships; but with these relationships--breaking up is hard to do.

It might not be as emotionally difficult as breaking up with your significant other, but, it is difficult none the less. These are the people you had fun with, spent nights with, got drunk with, and shared all the fun experiences with. They know you. But, sometimes it is just time to say goodbye.

Sometimes these friends will hurt you so bad, that there is no recovery. They will cheat, and lie, and you will realize that you never actually knew them at all. But there is no real way to say, "Sorry, It's over" with a non-romantic acquaintance. You have to just cut all ties. No more texting, calling, inviting to parties. And you have to make sure no one else invites them to parties either. This could go on for months before they finally get the picture that they aren't welcome anymore.

Sometimes breaking up is the hardest thing you will have to do, but sometimes it is necessary for them to get the picture.

For the last 4 years we have been friends, you have never once been honest to me. You have never once been honest to your self. You have done nothing but lie to me, and lie to yourself. You have joked with me, laughed with me, and cried with me. We have shared a number of good times, and a number of bad times. We have been friends though thick and thin, but I have relized it was all a lie.

You claim you never liked me. It has taken you four years to man up and say how you feel. Four years too late. I can not believe someone can take that long to say how they truly feel about someone. I can not believe you could pretend to like me for that long, and not be true to yourself. I can not believe it took you this long to man up, and tell me how your truely feel.

I ammend you for letting me know. But, I do not know what you want me to make of this? And even if we can learn to get passed these years of dis-honesty, do I even want to be friends again? Why would I ever set my emotions out on the line when I know someone is just going to shoot them down? Why would I ever want to be friends with someone who can not stand up for themselves or be honest with themselves.

I know you were finally trying to stand up for yourself, but you have to know it was too late. Maybe next time you will learn to just put your true feelings out for everyone to see. Next time it wont take you so long to be true to yourself.

I do hope that one day we can look passed all this. I hope one day you will grow up and learn you were also in fault. But, untill then, I guess this is goodbye.

I hope the best for you. I do still care about you as a friend, and I wish nothing more then you to be happy. But untill we can talk again, goodbye.

Izzy

Josh and I got a new member to our family! Izzy is the cutest puppy in the world, and I am not just saying it because it is mine either! 

She has been such a little terror lately. She just got to her "puppy" stage. So my new name for her is "chomper".

It's super cute, because she already knows her name. And then when you call her, she comes and bites you...Adorable? HA!!! 

But even with all her "annoying ness" she is still by little baby!! I love her!